It’s a bit of a serious topic today, but one that needs addressing.
The fact that I have a history of disordered eating, and am currently working on full recovery, is something I’ve shared a handful of times. This is not an easy thing for me to open up about. I actually debated whether or not to even write this post. But, it’s an issue I’m passionate about, and one I feel needs to be shared. This is a very personal post for me, and not one that I write lightly. It comes from an honest, vulnerable place.
As you may or may not know, this week is National Eating Disorder Awareness week. Each year, the people at NEDA dedicate a week to promoting awareness of and knowledge about Eating Disorders. The range of eating disorders is so large and their effects are so far reaching, it’s a subject that, in my opinion, isn’t talked about nearly enough.
This year’s NEDA week theme is “I had no idea…” So, I want to share with you my take on “I had no idea…”
I had no idea…
- my perfectionist personality would lead an attempt at losing a few pounds before college, via Weight Watchers, to the beginnings of restrictive eating. Note: Weight Watchers did not cause my eating disorder. It simply provided ME with the structure necessary to restrict. It is a program many find success with and has done wonderful things for many others.
I was developing an eating disorder when I chose not to eat breakfast or to only eat turkey and an apple for lunch.
my obsession with restriction would cause me to miss out on so many social opportunities.
not eating could be deadly.
that my eating disorder stemmed from a much deeper place than wanting to lose a few pounds. It stems from a place of an insecure little girl who never felt as though she quite fit in or was never quite good enough. This was not the fault of family or friends. I have an amazing, loving, wonderful family. It’s just the way I happened to be wired, that when combined with some major life events, ended up not so great for me, mentally.
- recovery could be so hard, yet so rewarding.
that my past could be the source of such embarrassment, shame, stress, and anxiety.
how wonderful joining the blogging community would be for me – finding and identifying with others who have had similar struggles has made me feel less alienated, less shame.
that having an eating disorder is NOT something to be ashamed of. We ALL have struggles. This one is mine, it may not be your’s, but I’m willing to bet you have/will have/have had one, too.
I AM good enough. I don’t have to be someone, do anything, or prove that I am good enough. I am enough. And so are you.
- recovery IS possible. It is not fast, it is not easy, it is not glamorous, but it IS possible.
If you know someone who is struggling with an eating disorder or restrictive tendencies, please talk to them. Please direct them toward a therapist who can help them. Chances are, they want to talk, and want to heal. But it’s scary. Go to the NEDA website to learn much more about the many wide varieties of eating disorders, find recovery resources, and encouragement.
1. Have you known anyone with an eating disorder or unhealthy habits?
2. What are your thoughts?